When I was a child I used to look forward to Christmas Day, the most important day of the year for me. According to our home tradition you would wake up surrounded by all the toys that, during the night, the Christ Child had brought you. I must confess, though, that at that age, I loved more the gifts than the giver.

I grew up and came to realize that my parents were the ones placing those toys. They had a way to combine gifts with discipline. As a child, I did not understand that the discipline was intended to build of me a mature man, capable of weathering failure, defeat, rejection, difficulties, hard work and hardships. In retrospect I have come to understand the intentionality and the wisdom behind those actions.

The Lord acts in a similar way. He knows how to combine consolations and desolations so as to help us mature in LOVE. And so we have seen how God attracts us with an initial call which is normally surrounded by a beautiful experience. We will have to order our lives according to his will and engage in the difficult task of detachment from our earthly securities. The intention is to fortify FAITH. Eventually our human barriers are lowered. Our defense mechanisms have been tamed, our emotional wounds have begun to heal with God’s love. Inner peace arrives. We are at the threshold of the Illuminative Life. The gifts of the Holy Spirit shine in a brighter way.

All is beautiful. God is going to grant us this pre-taste of heaven. We find ourselves on Mt. Tabor with Christ. Like Peter, we would like to build three tents and rest with Jesus there. And yet, there is more maturing to do. God knows that we still love his spiritual gifts more than the giver.

St. John of the Cross is known for the description of two Dark Nights that make their appearance at this point, one much darker than the other one. Whereas prayer has become a delight for a while, eventually, it is going to become dry. The delights experienced at the beginning of the Illuminative Way will eventually give way to darkness.

It must be known, then, that the soul, after it has been definitely converted to the service of God, is, as a rule, spiritually nurtured and caressed by God, even as is the tender child by its loving mother, who warms it with the heat of her bosom and nurtures it with sweet milk and soft and pleasant food, and carries it and caresses it in her arms; but, as the child grows bigger, the mother gradually ceases caressing it, and, hiding her tender love, puts bitter aloes upon her sweet breast, sets down the child from her arms and makes it walk upon its feet, so that it may lose the habits of a child and betake itself to more important and substantial occupations….

This he does by bringing them into the dark night whereof we now speak; wherein He weans them from the breasts of these sweetnesses and pleasures, gives them pure aridities and inward darkness, takes from them all these irrelevances and puerilities, and by very different means causes them to win the virtues….

This night, which, as we say, is contemplation, produces in spiritual persons two kinds of darkness or purgation, corresponding to the two parts of man’s nature – namely, the sensual and the spiritual. And thus the one night or purgation will be sensual, wherein the soul is purged according to sense, which is subdued to the spirit; and the other is a night or purgation which is spiritual, wherein the soul is purged and stripped according to the spirit, and subdued and made ready for the union of love with God. St. John of the Cross, Dark Night of the Soul

According to Fr. Benedict Groeschel, this Dark Nights must not be confused with the dryness we experience when we are struggling to overcome sin. One of the characteristics of these Dark Nights, according to St. John of the Cross, is that we do not find delight neither in the things of this world, neither in the things of God. It is God’s way to prepare the soul for pure union with him. This stage will be called the Unitive Way.

If that is the case, I confess I have no experience of these Dark Nights. I only know dryness as a result of my own tepidity and my own attachments to my dreams, to my work, to my vanity.

And so, like any other son of the Church, I walk in confidence knowing that she will guide me with the example and the doctrine of the Saints. Let us confidently walk our journey of faith alongside Christ who guides us through His Bride, the Church.

In the following weeks we will retrace our steps to cover, first, the negative aspects of our spiritual growth (the dirt that needs to be cleaned) and then, the positive aspects (the work of God in our soul).

Questions for pondering:

1. Do you love God’s consolations more than God himself?

2. Do you aspire to a greater degree of union and love for God?

Fr Lino Otero, LC:  Originally from Nicaragua, my family moved to Miami, Florida when I was a teenager. Soon afterwards I experienced the call to serve God without reservations. Since then, I have had experience in hospital ministry, working as a middle school teacher, leading a parish school, organizing soccer tournaments for kids, starting a radio station, training priests in leadership formation, organizing a parish community from maintenance to mission, and much more. I love spiritual direction and preaching. Years of philosophy, psychology and theological training have enriched my personal life and have shaped my message of hope. For more go to linootero.me